Proof of Paternity...

We still have not obtained Rocky's ammended birth certificate. The clerk of courts advised that they would provide the department of vital records with the certificate of adoption and we would then be able to obtain said certificate within 2-4 weeks of the proceedings. Knowing that we were 9 days away from Christmas we gave them the benefit of the doubt and waited 5 weeks before attmepting to receive the document. On that day Barney and Rocky headed off on an adventure that ended in dismal failure. The birth certificate was in process, but they gave us a phone number to contact to find out when it would be ready...needless to say this took an additional 8 days, and a phone call to a supervisor to get the answer we required...but first they gave me some background information.

A. When a baby is placed for adoption from the hospital the department of vital records HOLDS the birth certificate pending PROOF OF PATERNITY! Keep in mind that termination of parental rights is signed at the 72 hour mark and clearly states that its the PUNATIVE father who is signing the paper work. They then hold the ORIGINAL birth certificate for 60 days PENDING the paternity affidavite.

B. It is apparently ILLEGAL for us to be in possession of Rocky's original birth certificate listing his birth parents as his parents. In our state even though they now recognize open adoptions our state STILL seals the original birth certificate from BOTH the adoptee AND the adoptive parents. Thus, there is ZERO record that Rocky was ever anything other than a Rubble. We were "strongly advised" to return the original birth certificate to our attorney so he could in turn return it to the department of vital records.

My beef with this is two fold. First, by holding the original birth certificate for 60 days you've already PASSED the point of appealing and ruling on termination of parental rights also may have occured--as was our case. Rocky was 3 months and 3 days old when his adoption was final. By holding his birth certificate for 60 days without even processing it until the attorney called to demand it (just I did with his ammendment) you jeopardize a speedy finalization of an adoption. Granted our situation is unique--we adopted through a very rural county, thus we were in and out of the system in 93 days, where as an old co-worker of ours whose adopted daughter is a month younger is STILL waiting on the TPR and adoptin hearing...but this shouldn't be expected to be the norm! Worse, she said to me-when a child is finally adopted we don't even begin to process the paper work until 10-12 weeks AFTER the adoption is finalized...

"So what you're telling me is that had I given birth to Rocky that I would have had his birth certificate and SS# within 6 weeks of his birth, but because he is adopted we in theory have to wait SIX MONTHS? So in other words I can't even file my taxes this year?"

Her response "Well if you weren't giving your child up you would be married and then we wouldn't need proof of paternity, but yes because your child is adopted you will need to wait. It's not my fault the clerk of courts gave you mis information"

"So basically you're telling me that not only do you discriminate against birth parents in this state, but you also discriminate against adoptive mothers?"

"No, I"m not saying that, I'm just saying that if you're not married then it takes longer because we have to prove paternity"

"So your saying you only discriminate against unmarried women in this state then? Because if that is the case then you need to know Rocky's birth parents WERE married at the time of his birth..."

This bothers me on a NUMBER of levels. Just because I have a ring on my finger doesn't mean that A. Paternity is a given. B. It doesn't mean that I won't find myself in the position where I need to put a child up for adoption and C. Being an adoptee it's very difficult to find your birth parents if you don't even have a certificate that is obtainable with their names on it and D. Since when did it become the states responsibility to "police" unmarried women...for even if Jane Doe decided to keep her child and names John Doe as the birth father a court of LAW, not a branch of the government will demand that paternity be established before child support or termination of parental rights can occur.

Let me close by saying Rocky's birth certificate is being ammended today, and we can pick it up on Monday.