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This morning I officially gave my notice at work.

I'm scared.

My last day will be Friday, February 17th at 3:30 p.m.

This will give us 9 days between my ceasing to work and moving. In some ways this is great, but in others its petrifyingly scary! I thought about it last night, and my earlier than slated departure will help Rocky. He is going to going from having his GodMother, and my mom 3 and 2 days a week respectively to having Mommy 24/7. While that is a good thing it will also be an adjustment as each "other mother" has a schedule that they follow with him and he has adapted to quite well. By making an exedous a bit earlier than planned he won't have to adapt to it all at onace. He can adapt to it being all Mommy all the time and then to a new room in a new house.

I'm worried about financial state. A lot of our moving and my staying home (comfortably) is contingent upon our tax return. Of course the state has Rocky's ammended birth certificate as "pending" which means they are working on it, but that it's not ready. This in turn means no social security number for you. Granted even if we did have those pieces of information filing for the adoption credit delays your tax return even further than normal when the government is slated to give you a HUGE amount of money.

As Barney and I often discuss we'd be in the same boat had I delivered Rocky, but the difference would be--we wouldn't have incurred the debt getting him here. So while 40% of our credit card debt could be considered frivolous, the other 60% is completely related to him, which I wouldn't change for a moment and I know that eventually we will get caught back up...it will just take some time.

Of course there are some pluses to me staying home. Things we didn't qualify for before, WIC for example, we will now be able to take advantage of. Not that I would quit my job for WIC by any stretch, but knowing that it's there and we're eligible does take some worry away. Of course again, we will need his birth certificate and his social security card to apply...go figure.

My plan is this...when we move, I'm going to do one of two things. A. Put an ad in the paper for in home baby sitting. I could feasibly take an infant and a toddler OR two toddlers any day of the week. Even if it was broken up between two families would work. I have, as does Barney have our FBI, State Police, and Child Abuse Clearances as well as stellar letters of recommendation from our home study. or B. Find a part time job at night for 20 hours a week--just that would cover the cost of our housing which would take a HUGE burden off of Barney and would still allow me to stay home with Rocky during the day.

Ultimately...just as Rocky's arrival was unplanned so is this...but look at how well it worked out with him...and I have faith tha this shall too. For I'm a firm believer in the Lord will provide!